A Quiz About Combining Sentences

A Quiz About Combining Sentences A Quiz About Combining Sentences A Quiz About Combining Sentences By Mark Nichol One of the most useful techniques for tightening flabby prose is to concentrate more information into fewer words. This can be done with parenthesis and subordination. The result is that two or more sentences are combined into a single statement. Let’s try that again: One of the most useful techniques for tightening flabby prose is to concentrate more information, through parenthesis and subordination, into fewer words, with the result that two or more sentences are combined into a single statement. The outcome is a more complex construction and one that is not necessarily much more concise but one that is still digestible and creates a richer reading experience by collecting flat, simplified, isolated components of thought into an integrated whole. Not every multisentence passage merits combination, of course (and I admit that I favor longer sentences than some might find suitable), but vigilant effort to reduce verbiage has merit. Try this sentence surgery yourself with the following examples, and compare your results with my solutions: 1. â€Å"The Democratic presidential candidates had all been doing lousy imitations of Dean’s Bush-bashing road show. They noticed that his spiel was playing so well with the lefties in the North.† The second sentence folds easily into a parenthetical phrase placed within the first sentence; just omit the pronoun and change the verb form: â€Å"The Democratic presidential candidates, noticing that Dean’s spiel was playing so well with the lefties in the North, had all been doing lousy imitations of his Bush-bashing road show.† 2. â€Å"Christian leaders were used to spending a lot of time worrying about the faith of the unchurched. They were stunned to learn that the kids who showed up every week in the pews the churched didn’t know much more than those who didn’t.† The solution here is nearly identical to that in the first example, differing only in form; omit the first of the two repetitions of the verb were and delete the second sentence’s subject, but leave the form of stunned intact: â€Å"Christian leaders used to spending a lot of time worrying about the faith of the unchurched were stunned to learn that the kids who showed up every week in the pews the churched didn’t know much more than those who didn’t. 3. â€Å"The document addressed many issues that had been circulating in the government and industry sectors for the past several years. These issues were economic, military, and social in nature.† Here, the word count can be even further reduced by incorporating the second sentence in to the first one after deleting the verbose â€Å"issues . . . in nature† construction; relocate the subject so that it follows the series of adjectives: â€Å"The document addressed many economic, military, and social issues that had been circulating in the government and industry sectors for the past several years.† 4. â€Å"The group meets once a week. During each meeting, students participate in a mini-lesson that explains specific conventions or spelling patterns.† The first sentence has only one essential word in it: week. Slip its adjectival form into the second sentence before meeting and discard the rest, though you could, for more clarity, insert â€Å"in the group† after students: â€Å"During each weekly meeting, students [in the group] participate in a mini-lesson that explains specific conventions or spelling patterns.† 5. â€Å"The series has featured writings by a variety of French thinkers. It culminated in the publication of a two-part meditation by Jean d’Ormesson. This man was a well-known literary figure and member of the academy.† As I demonstrated in my introduction to this post, three sentences, not just two, can be reconstructed into one; in this case, convert all but the subject of the first sentence into a parenthetical for the second one, replace that sentence’s subject with the preceding one’s, and attach the third sentence to the second sentence as a subordinate clause: â€Å"The series, which has featured writings by a variety of French thinkers, culminated in the publication of a two-part meditation by Jean d’Ormesson, a well-known literary figure and member of the academy.† Voil! Want to improve your English in five minutes a day? Get a subscription and start receiving our writing tips and exercises daily! Keep learning! Browse the Grammar category, check our popular posts, or choose a related post below:Bare or Bear With Me?One Fell SwoopEmpathic or Empathetic?